Whod you bang
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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