I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
