Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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