I just saw a hot homeless man
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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