Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
