I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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