Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize