I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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