This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Your penis caused this!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
