She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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