Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
