This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
