First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
