Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You smell like stripper and shame
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
