well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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