Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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