just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
