belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
