More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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