If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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