At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
