After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize