Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
