As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
