He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize