I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
