it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
