I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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