I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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