Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
