didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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