no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
