omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
is it fun? or sober?
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