I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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