every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Randomize
