My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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