I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
