Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
