I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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