I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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