nut hugger
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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