I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
