Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
false alarm. still invincible.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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