cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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