Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
