hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
