I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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