He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
