My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
