I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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