Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
