All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
