Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
