there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
