I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
