I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
