Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
