You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
