You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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